Hundreds upon Hundreds of Self-Help books on this very topic have been written, and still divorce rates are the highest they’ve ever been. One would assume these books must be giving out some pretty bad advice, but you’d be wrong. The real reason is no matter how good the advice you receive is, there are certain core problems that must first be addressed before you can even benefit from the advice. The first thing you must do if you are serious about saving your marriage is rule out divorce. If you and your partner have ever brought up the subject, but you know deep in your heart you don’t want it, just remove all talk of it together. You need to get in the mindset that divorce is not an option, so there is no need to even mention it. A lot of times this loaded worded is used as a threat in an argument, even though there is never intention to follow through. The problem is, though, the more it is mentioned, the more likely it is to become reality. Respect your Partner. Think back to when you first started dating, how nervous you were as you got to know each other. You were overly polite and courteous, and you did anything to avoid conflict or arguments. I’m not expecting you to fall in love all over again in just one night, but the foundation of any relationship is respect. Accept your spouse for who they are. It’s the small habits that you tend to ignore at first, but in times of trouble bother you to no end. It may be something as simple as leaving the toilet seat up, or never putting their clothes in the hamper. Over time these may begin to annoy you, but it’s important to realize that these little things are not serious and definitely not worth getting worked up over. Avoid being critical of your partner. This can definitely be easier to say than to do, if you’re used to voicing your opinion often it may be hard to stop. It is very important, however, that you make a very strong effort to not verbally abuse your partner when you disagree with them. I’m not saying you should be completely passive, just find a polite and respectful way to express your opinion. Men and woman are different. You need to learn all you can about the opposite sex; and no, watching them from afar does not count. What I mean by this is being open minded when you approach how the opposite gender deals with things such as emotional issues. Even if you have been together for most of your lives, it is so common for couples to have many misconceptions of each other. Once you begin communicating, you’ll be surprised that what comes out may show you how to save your marriage. Finding out how to save your marriage is only as difficult as you make it; you can’t always rely on free information you find on the Internet. Even the self-help books written by the gurus can leave a lot to be desired when dealing with the most important part of your relationship, the foundation. |